Of love and regret

its true, death is nearer than you anticipated it to be. It is inevitable. But it does not mean you cant live your life. It doesn't mean you need to feel sad or drown in your frown.

I have learned the hard way.
That relationship should not be based solely on love.
Instead, it comprises of several elements as well.
Trust.
Honesty.
Understanding.

While I love freely, i lied freely too.
In the end, i end up lying to myself.
In the end i stumbled over my own triumph of getting away with it.

While he may have said it nicer, he was right.
And as for me, I lost in this fight.

As a result, i am left with regrets and fallacies.
Empty pictures and empty hearts.

It shows that love alone cannot triumph.

But, I learned as well, that life has to move on.
It is written in the Quran that a good person deserves to be with a good partner. (QS. An Nuur: 26) 

Perhaps it is time to reflect on myself, instead of finding faults in others. I was never a good Muslim. I try soo hard to be one now. I regret the tainted past. But i realize that it is what makes me.

For now, i only hope for Allah's mercy. Hope that my taubat is heard. In time before i leave this temporary vessel on earth.

And I should learn to love my self again, before i can appreciate the love of others.