week 30

Sometimes I wonder, if I can, be a good parent. I am flawed. In so many ways. I am not a Saint. I am broken. I wonder if I can be fixed at times. Everything seem to reciprocate. To return back to me at times.

I don't have the best of childhood. But it has been great overall. I want this baby to have the best of all. All that I wished I, had as a child. Not be drowned in thoughts. Not having to hide in a make-belive place that is within. Not having to doubt herself. Not having to pretend that all is okay. Not having to feel the burden that you are everything wrong in the family. 

And ultimately, feel loved.

For you, I will try.